A question I get asked a lot is, “How long should I wait to date?”

You probably aren’t going to like my answer.

As long as it takes.

Wait, what?! What do you mean, “as long as it takes”?

I know… that feels like a sucky answer, but it’s the most accurate one I can give you.

I have heard counselors, therapists and pastors say things like, “You should wait one month for every year you were married.” Or, “Just wait at least a year.” But that doesn’t take the YOU factor into account. And a calendar measures time, not healing.

You are unique. Your pain is unique. How you have learned to cope with emotions is unique. Your marriage was unique.

History Repeats Itself

One of the biggest problems I see… and admit it, you’ve seen it, too… is that people jump right into a new relationship, and it ends up falling apart or even turns out exactly like the marriage they just left. Sometimes it turns out even worse. Why is that?

Because they didn’t unpack their bags.

And it takes some of us lo...