We all get angry!
Think about how you were taught to deal with anger when you were a young girl. If you weren't allowed to express it, you may still have issues with learning how to express it. On the flip side, maybe you were allowed to express it and have no problem doing so. Either way, it can be really tough to move on from.
First of all, anger itself is not wrong - there are plenty of things to be justifiably angry about with any divorce. The Good Lord never tells us that anger is a sin.… He just tells us not to sin when we experience it… big difference.
So, if what you DO with your anger is what matters most, how can we learn healthy ways to express our anger? And more importantly, how can we get unstuck from it and begin to move forward?
Key thing to remember in this stage
Feelings of anger are normal and often justified.
It is how you handle your anger that matters most.
How do I handle my anger well?
Two strategies...
1) Write it all out on paper. It can be in the form of a letter (that you will never send!), a bullet-point list, whatever. But write it down. Journaling has significant power because it literally changes things in your brain and helps you process in a problem-solving way.
Want to level that up a notch? Add in Gratitude journaling. It is very difficult to be thankful and angry at the same time.
2)Give your anger an expiration date. When you give yourself permission to feel it for a time, it will be much easier to move forward when that expiration dates rolls around.
Bonus Strategy:
Specific Journal Prompts to Help Get Un-Stuck from this Stage
1) How was anger and expressing anger modeled for me as a child? In what ways do I handle anger that might be keeping me in an unhealthy space?
2) What do you feel is owed to you and is fueling your anger that you have no control over or cannot change?
3) Write out a prayer for help on the things you can’t control.
4) List at least 5 things in your life to be grateful for.
"I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13 ESV
Want to go deeper?
One-Week Deep Dive into Dealing with Anger
A self-guided journey that will help you sort through one of the most difficult emotions to overcome in a divorce. This journal will give you sound strategies and exercises that help you control your emotions and reclaim your peace.
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A thorough examination of the grief process as it pertains to divorce. This journey will walk you through all aspects of your healing process and give you the tools for true healing. You can take as much time as you like!
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