Divorce is so stressful!
And stress exacerbates sadness, anxiety and loneliness to where these can be debilitating. If you feel like you are in a black hole of these painful feelings, you are not alone. Divorce tends to do this to all of us.
When you feel swallowed up by the bigness and difficulty of it all, one exercise that helps is to inventory all of the challenges going on right now, and categorize them into ones that are completely outside of your control versus ones that you can do something about. Once you identify what you can have control over, it is easier to deal with the ones that you can't.
Another helpful tool is JOURNALING. There is massive power in journaling because of the changes that take place in your brain when you do so. It gives you perspective, increases your problem-solving ability, and allows you to expel some of the stress and sadness like air from a balloon.
And if you want to level up that journaling, add in gratitude and see what happens. Gratitude reorients our thought life and helps us control those other runaway emotions. Victory over anxiety is found in taking back control of our thought life.
Key thing to remember in this stage
Seasons of suffering always end.
This heartache has an expiration date!
How do I get past these awful feelings?
Two things...
1) Lean on your community and do not isolate yourself.
2) Pray!
Memorize Philippians 4:6-7 which says, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Bonus Strategy:
Specific Journal Prompts to Help Get Un-Stuck from this Stage
1) What are things causing my sadness/stress that I have no control over & can't do anything about?
2) Write out a prayer to God asking Him to take over the burden and the worry for these things.
3) What are some small actions I can take to affect the things that I do have some control over
4) What is there in my life right now that I can be grateful for? Big and small, take the time to list them ALL.
"I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13 ESV
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